Attention please!

I've decided that this journal is pretty much going to be dedicated from now on to the uninteresting personal details of my uninteresting life. (Did I mention that this journal will be uninteresting?) If you want to read interesting things--and this does include my two cents on graphics and web-design, for those who know me through gnomicons--please hasten to my blog, where interesting-ness awaits you... without nasty, pointed teeth... And besides, the blog has pretty pictures.If you feel the need to follow things via LJ, trygve has been cool enough to set up gnomeblog.

The Downing Street Memo

According to a July 2002 memo leaked by the British press, President Bush and his administration planned, even then, to invade Iraq and were working to fix intelligence to support their actions. The site linked to above contains the memo, a catalog of quotes from the administration as measured against the memo, and information on what actions members of the public can take. Congress has sent a letter (PDF) signed by 89 members to the White House, asking for an investigation into the validity of the document. The British government has declared the memo "nothing new" and said nothing to deny its validity. There doesn't seem to have been a conclusive statement from the White House at this time.My House representative was one of the members to sign the letter sent to Bush, but I felt that it was appropriate to send her my thanks and encourage her to keep at the issue.Dear Ms. Tubbs Jones,As a registered voter of Cleveland, I would like to thank and commend you for signing the letter from Congress to President Bush regarding the Downing Street memo of 23 July 2002. When the war in Iraq began, I supported the President's decision, though I had a few misgivings; it has become clear to me over time, however, that our President did not enter into this conflict for the appropriate reasons--nor has he provided due support and respect for the American men and women whose lives have been placed in danger in Iraq.With the leaking of the Downing Street memo, it is becoming clearer that the current administration has and may continue to be lying to the American people, doing so in a fashion that will cost us dearly in blood, in money, and in respect from the rest of the world. Such behavior should not and cannot continue unquestioned and unabated. Requesting an investigation to determine this memo's validity is only the first step. I urge you to continue the fight. The American public needs to know what is being done in our name.Respectfully yours, [my name]I urge all of you, especially those who are American registered voters, to look at this memo and consider taking action. There has been little media coverage of this issue, and that needs to change before more of our men and women--and more Iraqi men and women--lose their lives.

Ignacio "Doc Oc" Ocasio, 1952-2005

In case those of you with connections to Case have not heard, the good people at Blog@Case have set up a dedicated blog in honor of Doc Oc where students, alumni, faculty, and staff can share their memories about Doc and brainstorm ways of preserving his memory on campus.For those of you who don't know Case, Ignacio Ocasio--better known as Doc Oc--was an extraordinary professor who taught pretty much all of the introductory chemistry classes to undergraduates. He was famous for knowing the names and faces of all of his students on the first day of class. In class and out of class, he was a wonderfully cheerful man who went out of his way for each and every student, showing more concern for them--both as students and as people--than one ever expects from a man with 150-200 people attending each of his lectures.Even though I never had the pleasure of being in one of his classes, Doc Oc defined part of the undergraduate experience at Case for me, and he represented the very best of Case with the welcoming and supportive atmosphere he helped to create. We will all miss him sorely.

Hello world--Gnome style

Dear Olympic Games:Welcome home.Dear Athens:The pregnant firefly lady was a bit freaky, but you guys are wonderful anyway. Keep it up. Congratulations to you!Dear Olympic Athletes:May you realize the immense opportunities that lay before you. May you live up to your own dreams and those of the ones who cheer you. May you carry yourselves with pride and bring honor to the countries you represent. May you realize the true purpose of these Games and work to unite our world in peace outside these few weeks.And above all: may you have the time of your lives. Good luck to you all.Dear World:We may not all have a chance to be in Athens or even to see all that happens there. But let these Games remind us that dreams can, in fact, become reality, and that we really aren't all that different. We can overcome the boundaries between us and be united in peace and happiness. Even if only for these few weeks, let go of your hatreds and prejudice, look past the color of skin or the gender or religion of the person. Look past all of that and see a fellow human. Rejoice in our similarities and seek to understand our differences.Let the Games begin.gnomeofsol

Achilles needed a trip to Cheers [*sings* where everybody knows your name...]

I saw Troy today. And I couldn't resist beating a dead wooden horse.Troy Revisited[Open upon the great sandy desolation of Thessily. Two large armies glare at one another with a strip of beach between them. Two chariots ride forth to meet in the middle.]AGAMEMNON: Thessily King! Your lands are now mine!KING OF THESSILY: Like hell they are. Get off my land.AGAMEMNON: Looks like you’ve got some nice warriors there. I’ll appreciate them fighting for me, I’m sure.KING OF THESSILY: I believe that I told you that it’s my land and they’re my soldiers and you need to get out now.AGAMEMNON: You think I haven’t heard that before? Everyone says that before I conquer them. Now listen: why bother watching my men massacre yours when we can have a nice, quick pretty fight between your best fighter and mine.KING OF THESSILY: Fair enough. [yells] MONGO!THESSILIAN ARMY: MONGO! MONGO! MONGO!MONGO: [steps out of line and growls]AGAMEMNON: ACHILLES![Crickets, nervous looks run rampant through the Greeks. A boy is sent for Achilles.][Achilles’ hut of Depraved Pleasures. Boy reaches for sleeping Achilles’ shoulder, beneath the nekkid women. Achilles grabs the boy at the last moment.]ACHILLES: I was having a good dream. About this one draped on me and that other one over there. Come to join us?BOY: [stutters] S—s—sir? King Agamemnon sent me to find you. The army needs you.ACHILLES: In the morning, maybe.BOY: It is morning, sir.ACHILLES: [mutters] I’ll be out in a minute.[Achilles exits his hut, fully clothed (*shock!*), and gets up on his horse.]BOY: The man they want you to fight is the biggest man I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t want to fight him.ACHILLES: That’s why people will never remember your name.BOY: [hands Achilles his shield]ACHILLES: What is your name, boy?BOY: Homer.[Cut to Achilles’ Riverdance with Mongo. Mongo has forgotten his dance moves. Mongo dies.]ACHILLES: IS THERE NO OTHER WHO WILL DANCE WITH ME?![Crickets chirp]ACHILLES: IS THERE NO OTHER WHO WILL DANCE?!AGAMEMNON: [facepalm][Cut to Sparta and Menelaus’ Hall of Depraved Pleasure where Menelaus, Helen, Paris, Hector, and co. feast]MENELAUS: You have a fine father, boys, and I don’t mind saying that as I’ve never managed to kill him yet. But for now, I won’t try. Let us have peace! May the gods keep the wolves in the hills and the women in our beds. [reaches for dancing girl]PARIS: [under his breath] Just so long as it's your woman in my bed.[Both Paris and Helen exchange steamy looks before leaving. Being the only one with two brain cells to rub together, Hector is the only one to notice.][Cut to Trojan ship heading home. Paris bounds up to his brother like a happy little puppy.]PARIS: Beautiful day isn’t it? By the way, brother, would you stand up to any enemy for me?HECTOR: It qualified as a beautiful day until the storm clouds coincided with your arrival. What have you done?PARIS: I want to show you something.[The brothers go downstairs to find Helen, cloaked as though a random cloaked woman getting onto a Trojan ship was absolutely normal.]HECTOR: Paris. You. Are. A. Moron. PARIS: Don’t make me give her back?! She’s pretty next to me, see? [stands next to Helen]HECTOR: Menelaus will come for her.PARIS: I’ll fight him!HECTOR: [pulls out sword and holds it out to Paris] Which end of this do you hold onto?PARIS: [points to blade] That one!HECTOR: [facepalm]PARIS: [looks confused] I don’t have to give her back, do I?HECTOR: I know I’m going to regret this, but no.[Cut to Agamemnon’s Hall of Blinding Greed. Enter Menelaus and company.]MENELAUS: I want her back, brother, so that I may kill her myself!AGAMEMNON: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I just want to rule the known world.MENELAUS: I’ve never asked you for anything, brother.AGAMEMNON: Will getting your wife back help make me King of the World?MENELAUS: Um… yes?AGAMEMNON: Great! Let’s go.NESTOR: Um, King of Kings?AGAMEMNON: Yeah, what do you want?NESTOR: We’re going to need Achilles.AGAMEMNON: How about no?NESTOR: [rolls eyes and sends Odysseus for Achilles][Cut to Greek ruins by the ocean, because surely in the heyday of the Greek civilization, there should be random ruins for two war-obsessed young men to practice in.]ODYSSEUS: Hail, my friend!ACHILLES: Oh, hi. [pokes at Patroclus’ ribs with sword] Just teaching my cousin here to fight.PATROCLUS: [hops about like a puppy]ODYSSEUS: [eyebrow raised] Cousin?ACHILLES: Cousin. Absolutely cousin.ODYSSEUS: [aside] That’s what they’re calling it these days? [cough] You’ve heard, I suppose about sailing for Troy?ACHILLES: ….Yes.ODYSSEUS: Wanna come?ACHILLES: Erm… no.ODYSSEUS: Glory. Fame. Immortality. Did I mention glory? Reknown?ACHILLES: [twirls sword and jabs at Patroclus] Not interested.ODYSSEUS: Sheesh. Your mother didn’t need to dress you up in girls’ clothing and hide you at this rate.PATROCLUS: [snicker] She dress you up like a girl?ACHILLES: [snarl] I thought I told you never to mention that!ODYSSEUS: Consider coming, or I go announce it to my men.ACHILLES: ARGH! Fine. I’ll think about it.ODYSSEUS: We sail in three days. Achilles, no one will ever forget this war.[Cut to beachside with Achilles and Thetis.]ACHILLES: [whines] Mo-o-o-o-m-m! Odysseus is making fun of me again.THETIS: But you were so cute in that skirt!ACHILLES: He says that if I don’t go fight in Troy he’ll tell everyone about it.THETIS: He’s probably just jealous of your legs. I am.ACHILLES: [whines]THETIS: Listen to me. If you stay here, you will live a long and happy life despite people laughing about you dressing up as a girl—ACHILLES: YOU dressed me up as a girl!THETIS: --But if you go to Troy, you’ll die gloriously and everyone will forget about that whole cross-dressing incident.ACHILLES: [blink] Will they remember my name?THETIS: With fear and admiration.ACHILLES: Cool! Bye, Mom! I’m heading to Troy!THETIS: WAIT! I’m making a necklace for you! It’ll look great with that black mini-skirt![Cut to one thousand Greek boats crossing the Aegean. One boat is far out in the lead. It has a black sail; it must be Achilles.]ACHILLES: [hums to himself] Where everybody knows your name / And they're always glad you came...EUDORUS: My lord! Shouldn’t we wait for the others?ACHILLES: What others?EUDORUS: King Agamemnon, my lord.ACHILLES: HE’S coming?! Hell no, better the Trojans than that sack of wine.EUDORUS: Sack of wine, my lord?ACHILLES: Yeah, this movie is rated R but it sure isn’t for language.[Big bloody battle scene with 100 Greeks or less routing several hundred to a thousand Trojans. All due to Achilles. *coughyeahrightcough* Achilles sacks the Temple of Apollo, conveniently located outside of the city walls and within a spear’s throw of the shore. Literally. If you’re Achilles.]ACHILLES: Ha ha! Go me!EUDORUS: My lord, do you think it wise to anger the god Apollo so?ACHILLES: [thinks] Why should he care? [lops off the head of a giant golden statue]EUDORUS: [looks at statue] Um, never mind.[Achilles goes into the temple, followed by Hector.]ACHILLES: You’re pretty stupid to be following me alone, you know.HECTOR: You’re pretty stupid to kill a bunch of defenseless priests and priestesses.ACHILLES: [shrug][Suddenly thirty Greeks appear from nowhere and surround Hector.]ACHILLES: Let him go!EUDORUS: My lord?!ACHILLES: Let him go.EUDORUS: But why?ACHILLES: Easy. Because if I kill him now, his family won’t see it. It won’t be as glorious for me. [waves sword] Run along, little prince.[Greeks party. Agamemnon and Achilles fight. Trojans route the Greeks. Trojans party. Agamemnon and Achilles fight. Repeat a few too many times.][Cut to a showdown between Menelaus and Paris.]MENELAUS: [growl]PARIS: [confused look]MENELAUS: [cuts Paris down]PARIS: [whimpers and cowers at his brother’s feet]MENELAUS: GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!PARIS: [whimpers]HECTOR: [sigh]MENELAUS: YOU HAVE NO HONOR, COWARD!HECTOR: Okay, dude, you and your brother fully intend to attack Troy after this even though you swore not to. Who the hell are you to lecture us on honor?MENELAUS: You heard that?HECTOR: [nods]MENELAUS: [war cry; attacks Paris]HECTOR: [kills Menelaus]AGAMEMNON: [screams like a girl]HECTOR: [sigh][Greeks route Trojans. Trojans route Greeks. Both party. Achilles and Agamemnon glare at one another.][Cut to Priam’s Hall of Pompous Morons]MORON #1: Let us attack the Greeks’ ships tonight and drive them away!HECTOR: Are you crazy? They’re divided right now! If we attack their ships, they’ll unite! We wouldn’t stand a chance!PRIEST: I talked to these two guys, and, uh, they saw this eagle with a serpent, and that’s good for us, I think.HECTOR: Isn’t the eagle a symbol of Zeus?PRIEST: Why yes.HECTOR: And isn’t Zeus patron for the Greeks?PRIEST: [thinks] Yes.HECTOR: Then did you maybe think it was a good omen for them and not us?PRIEST: Don’t be ridiculous. We should attack them now, sire.HECTOR: [sigh]PRIAM: In my old age, I’ve become very good at not listening to my sons, particularly when they have decent ideas. Let’s attack the Greeks now.HECTOR: [sigh][It is the deep of night. The Trojans sneak to the beach, sending up volley after volley of flaming arrows.]HECTOR: Release the twine!GREEKS: [scream] [die]SMARTASSES IN AUDIENCE: [sing] GOODNESS GRACIOUS! GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!GREEKS: [scream in agony over horrid puns] [die]ODYSSEUS: RUN! SAURON’S BOWLING BALLS HAVE COME! THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS!GREEKS: [die][The sun comes up. The remaining unburned Greeks form lines. The Trojans practice their Uruk impersonations whilst banging spears against shields. Battle is joined. Achilles’ men are led into battle among the Greeks. Dramatic battle between Hector and Achilles. Hector slashes Achilles’ throat.]ACHILLES: [falls and gurgles]HECTOR: [kneels, removes Achilles’ helmet]ACHILLES: [is Patroclus]HECTOR: [sigh] This is enough for one day. Pull back!ODYSSEUS: [agrees with Hector and calls the Greeks off] It was his “cousin”.HECTOR: His “cousin”? That’s what they’re calling it these days?ODYSSEUS: [shrug][Greek camp is filled with the sound of Achilles’ fury and grief. In Troy, Hector sighs.][Cut to Hector’s bedroom, with Andromache, his wife, and his infant son.]HECTOR: [plays with son] You remember where I took you the other day? The way to escape the city?ANDROMACHE: Yes, why?HECTOR: I killed a boy today. I thought he was Achilles.ANDROMACHE: You killed his “cousin”?HECTOR: Yeah, that’s what they’re calling it these days, it seems. [sigh] You know, I’m too damned honorable and brave for my own good.ANDROMACHE: Don’t fight tomorrow.HECTOR: Do you ever listen, woman? I’m too honorable not to.ANDROMACHE: I need you!HECTOR: You and all of Troy. [sigh][Dawn breaks. A lone chariot rides across the plain before Troy’s walls. Achilles steps out.]ACHILLES: HECTORRR!HECTOR: [sigh]ACHILLES: HECTORR!!!HECTOR: [kneels before Priam] Father, I’ve done all that I can. I’m sorry I can’t do more.ACHILLES: HECTORRR!!!PRIAM: You’re the best son a man could have.ACHILLES: HECTORRR!!!HECTOR: [rises, goes to Paris] You’re a prince of Troy. Make me proud, brother.PARIS: I hold the end that’s not sharp, right?HECTOR: [sigh]ACHILLES: HECTORR!!!HECTOR: I tried to be the best husband and father I could be.ANDROMACHE: Don’t go! Please!HECTOR: Remember what I told you.ANDROMACHE: You love me?HECTOR: Yes, but the other thing.ANDROMACHE: About killing Paris later?HECTOR: No, no, no! The *other* thing!ANDROMACHE: Escaping? Oh yes, of course.ACHILLES: HECTORRR!HECTOR: [sigh][Hector goes out to face Achilles.]HECTOR: Let there be a pact between us. The winner allows the loser a proper burial.ACHILLES: RAWR!HECTOR: That’s a ‘no’, isn’t it? I let Patroclus have a proper burial!ACHILLES: PATROCLUS! RAWR![Battle ensues. After much fighting, Hector falls to Achilles’ sword.]ACHILLES: RAWR! [attaches Hector’s body to his chariot and drags it around]PRIAM: [cries][Cut to Achilles’ Hut of Depraved Pleasure. Briseis is unusually absent from between Achilles’ legs. A cloaked figure enters.]ACHILLES: Who are you?PRIAM: [pulls back hood]ACHILLES: Shit! It’s a *real* actor!PRIAM: Please give me my son’s body.ACHILLES: If it gets you out of here faster, then yes. Take it! Go! Just don’t make me look any worse! Have twelve days of peace while we’re at it!PRIAM: Thank you. [Leaves with Hector’s body and takes Briseis with him]ODYSSEUS: Hey, um, Achilles? Wasn’t that Priam who just drove off with Hector’s body?ACHILLES: Yeah, got a problem with it?ODYSSEUS: Nope. Got any wood I can use for this horse I’m trying to make?ACHILLES: [points to Agamemnon’s boat] Right over there.ODYSSEUS: Hey, thanks man.ACHILLES: Sure thing.[Greek camp disappears suddenly, replaced by a gigantic wooden horse that naturally wouldn’t have a bunch of Greeks hidden in it. Trojans come out to see the horse and empty beach.]PRIAM: What’s this?PRIEST: It’s a horse, sire.PRIAM: Yes, I see that. What’s it doing here?PRIEST: It’s an offering to Poseidon! We should take it to his temple!PARIS: We should burn it.PRIAM: [shocked look] It’s a gift.PARIS: We should burn it.PRIAM: Drag it into the city.PARIS: [pouts] The first and only time I have a decent idea and everyone ignores me.HECTOR’S GHOST: Get used to it.PARIS: [sigh][Late that night, Greeks climb out of the horse and kill the drunken Trojan guards. They let the rest of the Greeks in the main gates. Cue huge outbreaks of fire, screaming, and wailing from the soundtrack. Andromache and Helen lead bunches of Trojans out of the city. Paris refuses to go with them.]PARIS: You! Boy!BOY: Sir?PARIS: What’s your name?BOY: Aeneas, sir.PARIS: This is the sword of Troy. So long as it’s in the hands of a Trojan, our people have a future. Take it. Just don’t grab the sharp end.BOY: Sir?PARIS: Go! Found a new city! Ignore the results of Agamemnon’s greed and try to lead the remainder of our people on a quest to conquer the world!BOY: Yes, sir! [takes sword][Cut to burning palace]BRISEIS: PARIS!ACHILLES: BRISEIS!PARIS: [runs]BRISEIS: PARIS!ACHILLES: BRISEIS! [brandishes sword at several women who are not Briseis]PARIS: [finally does something worthwhile and shoots some Greeks]BRISEIS: PARIS!ACHILLES: BRISEIS!PARIS: [runs after Briseis][Cut to Priam’s Hall of Falling Statues]PRIAM: [horrified] Have you no honor?! [draws sword and is stabbed from behind by a Greek]AUDIENCE: No, no, they don’t have any of that.[Cut to another part of the palace, where Agamemnon has taken Briseis captive]AGAMEMNON: HA! Victory is mine! And now, since you threatened that, I will make you my slave.BRISEIS: [stabs Agamemnon in the neck]GUARDS: She just killed him! Get her!ACHILLES: RAWR! [kills guards]BRISEIS: ACHILLES!PARIS: [shoots Achilles in the ankle]ACHILLES: [experiences pain for the first time]BRISEIS: NOOOO!!!PARIS: [turns Achilles into a pincushion]ACHILLES: [looks pained]BRISEIS: NOOOO!!!!!PARIS: [looks confused as Briseis and Achilles kiss]ACHILLES: Go! Thank you for living with me in my hut of depraved pleasures.BRISEIS: I can’t leave you.PARIS: [is confused]ACHILLES: GO!PARIS: Briseis, come on!BRISEIS: NOOO!!!!ACHILLES: GO! You might be carrying the next Achilles! Save him! Go!PARIS: [looks confused] Briseis!BRISEIS: [sobs her way away with Paris]ACHILLES: [dies][Troy falls. The next morning the Greeks make a special funeral bier for Achilles. No one knows what they’re doing for their supposed king, Agamemnon.]ODYSSEUS: [lays coins on Achilles’ eyes and light him] Goodbye, my brother, my captain, my—AUDIENCE: WRONG MOVIE!ODYSSEUS: Oh, right. So yeah, remember me for the fact that I lived in a time with a couple of good men and a lot of real bastards. Not for the fact that Homer’s other great epic is all about me trying to get home for the next ten years.I might have been prompted to write more if my hands weren't already tired from typing all that. So good night, folks. Tomorrow's my flight back to Cleveland.

Happy Icon Maker Appreciation Day!

It's impossible for me to say how much many of you effect me, even if I don't use your icons. I have to send out major appreciation to the following icon makers: grass_stained, amazingrando, enigel, stepliana, crackshot, sadako_chan, shinken, snarkel, tristmasjedi, snidgety, gegenschein, saranoh, iconalias, dawnnamira, ethereal_icons, sirendream, etoilepb, and syndarys.I don't doubt that I've left someone out by accident, but, as you can probably guess from that list, there are so many of you that I appreciate that it's next to impossible to set you all down by name. In any case, I raise a toast in honor of you all!

List Cleaning

I'm sort of following the New Year's fad of friends list cleaning. I really don't like cutting people, but I also don't like having tons of entries to try and wade through, particularly when I feel that there are a number of people who don't seem to be wading through mine. Maybe we're just not clicking. In any case, I want you all to know that it's not that I have anything personally against you, and I'm not completely set against adding you back on, but I would ask you to comment here and give me some reasons why I should. If not, then I hope we part ways without hard feelings. I wish you all the best in life!Also, there are a number of people who have added this journal who have never commented to me at all, which I find a bit bizarre. I really like getting to know the people I have as friends. Please, comment if you're really interested. Look at my user info, find some stuff we have in common. Start a conversation with me. Give me some way of remembering you out of the crowd of people I encounter!